Kaze vs Ash Ketchum
by oop007
Summary: Final Fantasy Unlimited Versus Pokemon.


Kaze enters the pokeworld - Ash to Ashes  
  
The two worlds of Final Fantasy Unlimited, once two sides of pain and suffering, now two sides of prosper and an ever growing world of power. But where did it all go? Kaze, the lost hero of our time sacrificed himself to defend all that was wrong, but what is the afterworld in a world as bizarre as that of Final Fantasy Unlimited.  
  
"Pokeball Go!" yelled Ash as the hot summer sun beamed so proudly over his head. A Pokebattle is a battle of wits, integrity and pride for anybody who is anybody, except for those of you who actually have respect for real anime. Why should I narrate a pokemon battle? It's not like Ash is going to lose anyways, and even if he did lose, a monstrosity of endless episodes and stupid depictions of monsters attacking each other would ultimately end in a movie, a sequel to a movie and of course, Ash winning and or saving the day anyways, so lets get to the point.  
  
"Ash, Misty, Brock! Look at the sky!" yelled a homeless man who otherwise, shouldn't have even known their names, but that's pokemon for ya, you don't need it to make sense. A ball of gleaming yellow-like, fire barreled its path towards the center of the lake nearby. "What are we going to do? What is that weird looking thing?" asked Ash, assuming an old bum from the streets would actually know what the hell the thing was. Sure enough, without hesitation, the old bum responds, "Simple you stupid fool, that's Kaze from Final Fantasy Unlimited, he just died in the last episode. I saw it last night while leeching it off of KaZaA.". "Wow sir, I sure am dumb! Sorry about that!" yelled Ash cheerfully, almost having a sense of pride in his stupidity. "uh oh" yelled Brock. "Here it comes!!!" screamed Misty.  
  
The fireball made a giant wave in the water as it smashed to the ground almost shaking the very roots of every tree on the nearby soil. Nothing emerged from the water for quite sometime. Not a single bubble came to the surface, then suddenly. "Splash!". A phoenix rose up from under the water, made the sound "Phoenixmon, Phoenixmon". Oh no! They have ruined a perfectly good depiction of a SquareSoft creature! This is uncalled for! Kaze had summoned the Phoenix using his demon gun which was later renamed by the pokemon editors to Phoenixmon. It's incredible how a perfectly good character like the phoenix can be destroyed by a perfectly stupid show.  
  
"Blastoise! I choose you!" yelled Ash. Though I wish for once that stupid over-weight version of a turtle would just get electrocuted or something, I think I'd rather just wait for Kaze to kick its ass. Everyone next to the lake stood in complete silence. Kaze had still not arisen. Then, a small bubble arose to the top of the lake, and another, and another and then suddenly thousands and steam started to rise from the lake and it began to bubble like boiling water. Kaze emerged from the burning dunes of hell. Hell being the land of Pokemon, that is. "Where am I? What is that turtle with giant cannons? Wait a minute. isn't this that. that irritating kids show, P- P- P-okemon?" asked Kaze, as he just emerged from the lake. "N-n-nooo! N! This can't be!" he screamed. "Anywhere but here. The digiworld, even the world of medabots but not the pokemon world!"  
  
Kaze was going insane, then suddenly Ashes voice screeched out a couple meager words. "Blastoise, use your water gun attack!". The pitiful sprinkle of water trickled across Kaze's face and seemed to have no effect on him what-so-ever. Then suddenly, "it" moved! The heart inside his demon gun had moved and he knew it was time to end the life of this Ass Ketchup person, and rule the pokemon world as his own from then on. -Keep in mind, the Final Fantasy Unlimited Music is now playing in the background- "Demon Gun! Dissolve!" Yelled Kaze! The legendary creature sprung out of Kaze's demon gun! It was Ultima..mamon! "ULTIMAMON!" It roared! Then with a quick slash, it cut both of Ashes legs off, and then with a quick breathe, it burned his arms off. But it wasn't over yet. Ash still had a head and a small, barely visible penis. "Roar" yelled Ultimamon! It then bit his penis off, flew up 100 meters into the air, and spit it back down onto Ashes head at 700 miles per hour killing him instantly.  
  
"Pokemon is over!" Yelled Kaze, and from that day on, all humans hunted pokemon, destroyed their natural habitats and killed as many as they could with many rewards for the fully evolved ones. From then on, humans never fought again and battles were never recorded again through-out the history of the world. Kaze was regarded as a hero, and Ash Ketchum was regarded as a successor of Hitler's, and was never to be spoken of or about again. Kaze's reign as King lasted for seventy long years, the last twenty of which, were pokemon free! All pokemon had now been killed and the world was now a better place. Cats and Dogs now return to their households. Rats now ran freely again instead of Raticates. Ska music filled the streets every single anniversary of the day Kaze killed Ash, and Misty and Brock? Well, Misty had always liked Brock more than Ash anyways, so they had kids, many kids, until finally birth control was developed.  
  
This is what happens when you allow a good character from a good anime, to enter the world of a bad anime with bad characters. It isn't pretty. And it isn't normal. This is why I feel the need to write these comedic, yet horrorifying stories. They may be funny from your point of view, but scary from Kaze's.  
  
The End, or is it? Really. it is.  
  
P.S.: Misty is a fashion "Red Alert". (  
Written By: oop007 Contact me: no1livez@hotmail.com 


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